Why are we so mean about romance?

I have a confession to make.

I am a closeted romance enthusiast, hiding behind the veil of being an anti-romance snob.

Whilst outwardly, I profess not to understand the weird “beef” that self-proclaimed literary writers have against their romance counterparts, inwardly, I carry a very strange sense of shame at my secret penchant for a good, hot and steamy meet-cute.

Romance novelists have been battling against this extremely weird prejudice and judgement forever. For some reason, their work is considered unserious, vapid and menial. As if any one of us could easily sit down to pump out book after book of over 70K+ words, that somehow manages to keep the reader so engaged that they’re often consumed in a matter of days or even hours.

I myself have joked that “I reckon I could have a good crack at it.” I’ve even got the perfect pen-name lined up because God forbid I have my actual name attached to the category, weighing down whatever “serious” writing I might decide to undertake later.

But why are we so mean about romance?

Why, especially, are those of us who personally love to read it (aka me), so mean about romance?

Initially when I started writing this blog post, I set out to figure out why people were consuming so much romance content these days. Instead, I’ve been forced to confront my own romance snobbery, and challenge the beliefs and misconceptions that have led me here.

Ndéla Faye wrote a piece for the Independent UK in 2022, sharing her discovery that her anti-romance novel snobbery was actually rooted in internalised misogyny:

“Here’s an uncomfortable admission: my views on romance novels were rooted in classicism and internalised misogyny. I thought romance novels were for ditzy housewives. I would scoff and roll my eyes at the mere sight of their covers.

With the kinds of books I was buying, I was trying to fulfil whatever idea I wanted to project of myself. By reading cool books, maybe I could be cool too. Perhaps by reading books I thought were highbrow, I would appear to be highbrow too.

Except it was never really about books. As uncomfortable and mortifying as it is to admit, it was actually about feeling better about myself, and trying to appear better than others; namely my perception of those who read romance novels.”

Ndéle summed it up perfectly, and I completely relate to this.

It is extremely uncomfortable to admit that the reason I’m such a snob about romance is because I have a biassed view of the type of “person who reads it.” A view that conveniently fails to take into account that I, myself, am the type of person who reads it - and enjoys the hell out of it.

At the time of writing (May 2024), romance is in the top four genres of books I’ve read this year on my StoryGraph.

My most read author is Ali Hazelwood, prolific author of six romance novels and one short story collection. I have read five of her books this year and the DAY her new one comes out in June, I will be purchasing and marking out my calendar to read it cover to cover.

When Emily Henry’s latest book, Funny Story, hit the shelves in April, I bought it the moment it exited the shipping box at my local bookstore. In just three days I devoured the whole thing and declared it to be Henry’s “best ever!” (because I have, in fact, read every single one of Emily Henry’s books). Funny Story, made me laugh and cry in a way no book has managed, for God knows how long. For just a tiny moment, Henry helped me forget how miserable I often am in general. 

I think most of us who feel strongly about the romance genre are probably in denial about the reasons why we feel that way.

As writers, we’d like to think we’re more “highbrow” than romance.

As readers, we’d like to think we’re more “intelligent” than fluffy romcoms.

But beneath our ridiculous internalised misogyny, we are blind to the many wonderful things that the romance category provides:

1. They are easy to read and more readers = good for the publishing industry.

It is no secret that the publishing industry is in trouble. Earlier this week, The Spinoff published an article about the recent roaring success of the Auckland Writers Festival, juxtaposed with the very real struggles of the publishing industry in Aotearoa. Successful publishers are being made redundant and cherished bookstores are closing because the volume of books sold and the price of a book has not risen in line with the steadily rising cost of production.

When the romance category makes up a large portion of overall book sales, the more people to proudly purchase and read it, the better it is for the whole literary sector.

Also, when is reading ever a bad thing? 

In this technological age, whatever encourages people to read a damn book is a good thing imo.

2. They (mostly) normalise consent and women’s pleasure.

With a few awful exceptions (I’m not pointing fingers but if I were they’d be pointing at Colleen Hoover), contemporary romance places a wonderful emphasis on the importance of healthy, sexual communication and gaining enthusiastic, ongoing consent. 

And although there is a lot of work to be done with more broadly normalising proper consent, the more people who read this narrative and learn to expect it as part of a healthy sexual relationship, the better communication and ultimately changed behaviour we’ll see as a result.

3. They give us hope.

The romance genre has ballooned in recent years, with the trend curving upwards, alongside our increasing misery at the state of humanity and the world.

This is because when all hope feels lost, we need something to hold onto. Some lighthearted escapism with a good ole’ Happily Ever After or Happy For Now ending that can help us forget for five seconds that Everything Is Awful.

For the last few months, I’ve been working on a crime novel. 

But for the last few years, I’ve been talking about writing a romance.

Or, joking about writing a romance.

Joking but actually, I’m serious.

I never really considered it though because I didn’t think romance was a genre worthy of my time.

I am an idiot. Truly.

So as of now, I am parking the crime story and instead, plotting out the romance novel I have always wanted to write, because romance is the freaking bomb.

Thank you for reading Fiction and Fauna. This post is public so feel free to share it.